Heal yourself first, the rest will follow

Focus on healing yourself first – for all the ambitious empaths and soulpreneurs out there – saving the world will naturally follow

Ok so I’ve been wanting to share this for a while now but have wondered ‘is it relevant?’

Today, I’ve decided I’m going to stop asking myself this question and I’m going to stop letting this thought process prevent me from sharing my stories.

And I invite all you soul connected, heart led female entrepreneurs (or anyone!!) to do the same because if my experiences have helped me grow then there will be others out there who find themselves in my story and there will be those out there who find themselves in yours. Sharing your story could, literally, change someone’s life.

Imagine the difference you could make in their lives, if you could only be the one to start these open hearted conversations? Just imagine…

So last month I experience my first somatic release whilst doing my usual everyday morning stretches. I was in child’s pose and I’ve always struggled with tension and pain in my hip flexors. I have moments where I breath into it and they release and the relief is divine! But almost immediately tense up again. I have a weird worry inside, on a physiological level that if I let the muscles compeletely relax, I won’t be able to activate them again and I’ll just be left in a jelly puddle on the floor!

So in this moment I asked myself ‘why can’t I just let go?’ And I heard my inner voice respond with ‘because I’m afraid that if I let go that I’ll never be able to get back up again’. And all at once I knew I was referring to the deep pain of my dad’s suicide and my childhood traumas and I began to cry. And my hip flexors relaxed.

I have been aware for some time now that there is a deep pain inside that I have sidelined/buried/suppressed/shelved/disconnected from (I bet you have some too?) but I know now that I’m ready to feel it and it needs to be felt, to be released.

So why share this? Because I’m really beginning to understand the power of listening to your inner voice and your body wisdom. We always have the answers within us – mostly we’re not listening for them, sometimes they are absolutely not what we want to hear, often we outright ignore the wisdom from within – but the wisdom is there …for us.

There are so many different modalities available these days for reconnecting with our bodies; conscious/ecstatic dance, breathwork, forest bathing, sound healing, meditation, yoga etc. but I started my personal journey through conversation; a little with myself, a little with others, a little with a really good therapist 😍

Noticing yourself, your language, your behaviour, your thought processes can all be highlighted in conversation. Start noticing yourself first. Listen to your inner dialogue. Become the observer, have an outside perspective on your inside chatter, bring awareness to your ‘self’.

We are conditioned to become disconnected from our body wisdom, we often don’t want to go in there because that’s where the feelings live and feelings can be hard, they are sometimes painful, and heavy. But we cannot selectively numb so when you disconnect from the tough emotions, you also suppress wonder, joy, gratitude and even love.

We humans are resilient and adaptable and we are greater than the sum of our parts and with the right support we can grow through our pain.

My brilliant therapist wanted to diagnose me with Complex PTSD after I listed all my traumas but after two sessions instead gifted me with PTG (post traumatic growth) and sighted ‘compassion for self and others’ and ‘radical deep self acceptance and acceptance of others’ as the two healthy strategies I had developed to cope with my challenging start in life .

Growth from trauma is possible and, in my humble opinion, has the potential to be even deeper and more expansive for those of us who have experienced trauma! The magic is in the healing, we’re are required to go to ‘places’ within that we would otherwise have no need to explore. We are challenged to embrace the full range and depth of emotion. We are given a huge opportunity to forgive on a scale that others would never have the need to and in doing so discover the true depth of our being as well as an ability to find the humanity in others when it is scarcely visible.

It might be an unpopular opinion but I truly believe that we can create a beautiful life BECAUSE of our trauma and not ‘in spite’ of it. When we truly, deeply accept what has happened to us, we have the opportunity to unfold all the dark or unexplored corners within us, to expand into the fullest version of ourselves, to know pain and hold it, even love it tenderly as a part of our being. We get to know our whole selves having lived through the fullness of the human experience.

It’s not to say that traumatic experiences are invited, wanted or warranted in any way but accepting the reality of the life we have enables us to drop the rope, to stop the struggle and to redirect that energy to places that better serve us in living a fulfilling, beautiful life – and even give us the inspiration and passion to create a better world so that others might never have to suffer as we did.

That said there are many who will not be able to hear this, the trauma is too great or the wound still too raw. This is where I’m at in my personal journey and I’m sure many others are too and we are in a position now to share our story to help others take the next steps. It’s a very personal journey that we each walk at our own pace. But if you feel strong enough to share yours, then share it and know that the right person will hear it in the right moment.

If I can inspire just one person with this post to notice themselves, in the chaos of modern living where constant forward motion seems to be the shared common state, to take notice of your beautifully unique, perfectly flawed and infinitely divine self, then I’ll find even deeper meaning in my own experiences.

Heal yourself first, the rest will follow xxx

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