Stop waiting for someone else…

A few years ago, I was planning an epic adventure into the wilderness of Iceland, wild camping in a 4×4 – by myself, completely alone. Just for a week, nothing too crazy but just crazy enough for people to look at me a little sideways when I mentioned it.

I was super excited about the solitude and the feeling of spaciousness created by being alone. I was a little apprehensive for obvious reasons but mostly I was filled with the expansive feeling of ‘I can do anything!’

A few days before I was about to book said epic adventure. I found myself at an ice hockey game (watching, not playing – obvs – though you’d be surprised how many people I’ve had to clarify that for in the past…which does make me curious as to how others might perceive me lol??) and I started chatting to the lady next to me, Lisa – because I can’t help myself but make friends of strangers.

About 20 minutes into this conversation, I mentioned my epic adventure and her eyes widened with excitement. She said “Gosh I’d love to do something like that but none of my friends would ever do anything like it!’.

My immediate response to this was ‘why should that stop you?’

And I realised that most people really do feel the need to have someone to do things with. By this time I’d already done three solo backpacking trips around the world – including SE Asia and India – I had no issue eating alone in restaurants or picking up a hire car and driving myself around brand new places on the wrong side of the road…on the wrong side of the car. And until that moment I don’t think I realised what a gift it was. To feel so liberated. Just to clarify, it was never that I was unafraid, it was more that my desire was greater than the sum of my fears.

So with that ‘I just do stuff’ attitude, my second response, that quickly followed, was “du wanna come?”

20 minutes I’d known this girl! I took a chance but I figured the kinda person who says yes to something so bonkers is probably my kinda person (or a serial killer – it could have gone either way – luckily she was the first).

She said YES! Having never done anything like that before.

And then, not two weeks later a fairly new acquaintance I had barely met (we spent maybe 20 mins – that magic 20 mins it seems – talking at a hen party I attended, which was a horrifying experience but more on that another time) commented on my Facebook post saying the same thing as Lisa so I invited her too and the three of us, who barely knew each other, spent a week driving around the wilderness of Iceland in a camper van and it was the best holiday I’ve ever had!.

So what’s my point? 

Don’t wait for other people to lead the way for you, forge your own path. Don’t wait until you’ve got company; a business partner, the right mentor or a buddy of any kind before you take the scary action.

So what’s the secret sauce that has always allowed me to step forward like that? I suspect it has something to do with self trust.

Then I guess we get into the conversation of where does self trust come from? My response, right now, would be from having a healthy, loving and open minded relationship with yourself – your whole self; higher self, ego, wounded child, rational adult, shadow self and light. We are duality embodied and we are one all at the same time.

So the question is then, if you are afraid…what can you do to nurture the relationship you have with yourself and build or rebuild self trust?

I learned on my spiritual journey that the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one we’ll ever have because it influences the energy of all the relationships we get to experience..

I’d love to keep talking about this with you and having further, deeper conversations so do comment below if my story has resonated with you or my question has allowed a sort of shaking loose within your internal world.

Triggers too can be beautiful gifts of awareness when we hold ourselves through them with loving compassion and gentle curiosity.

Shaking the tree enables us to gather the fruit and one of my most favourite quotes is ‘pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’ your journey to healing doesn’t have to be filled with suffering. When you look at it a certain way – it can be the most beautiful gift you ever gave yourself. I know mine has been.

Here if you need anything, as always xxx

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