We all have Trauma in our System

Unpopular opinion alert??

As a general rule, I think we could all start just assuming that we have trauma of some sort…

I was on a recent breathwork training in Malaga and met a lovely chap from Paraguay at my airbnb. We got talking about what the breathwork is used for and I mentioned, among other things, that it’s great for trauma release. He enquired more so I asked him if he had any trauma in his recent or further past (because that’s what I do – I ask strangers about their trauma 😛

…’nope’, he said and so confidently …’no trauma here’. I was surprised but I didn’t dig any further. I’m being a growed up these days and learning to be respectful of people’s denial.

Now you might be thinking – Lauren, maybe he just didn’t have any trauma…??

Well not even 20 minutes later in the conversation he casually dropped in the story of when he was a child and found his own father collapsed from liver failure as a result of alcoholism, blood streaming from his nose and ears. He was dead. This boy was 12. I felt his pain for him in that moment, even though he himself didn’t seem to connect with it.

Just a reminder. Trauma isn’t the event, it’s the residue left in the nervous system and it can stay with us our whole lives. All those unclosed loops from stress responses where our lizard brain and nervous system thought we were under threat of death. And also to note that it isn’t always the size of the trauma (Big T/little T trauma) that determines the effect. It’s the size of the impact of the trauma on the individual based on their own unique capacity – which is often determined by everything that has gone before. It is all valid and worthy of acknowledgement.

They were never closed because we didn’t receive the nurturing, reassuring touch or soothing words that were needed to calm and regulate our nervous system so they all just got stuck in there. Now this is not a blaming exercise. We don’t do blame, shame or judgement in Affinity. This is an invitation to notice yourself and others and to realise that we were all just doing the best we could with the knowledge, experience and energy we had.

The GREAT NEWS is that those loops can be closed. Those old undigested traumas can be soothed and healed.

I’m not promising that it will ever go away fully but the potential for massive healing is there.

And we can do it for ourselves. All we need is a safe environment within which to do it and to create ourselves and other trusted companions as a resource of safety. The environment within which we spend our time is a HUGE part of our healing journey and the very purpose of Affinity is to create that safe space. But not only that, it’s a brave space to heal and then stretch out your wings into the very fullest, most authentic you!

We kick off our ‘Women Taking Space’ Festival on Monday 22nd April seeing four days of vulnerable, open hearted networking, business workshops focused on building your authentic business, breathwork and wellbeing sessions and accountability and co-working. Affinity is all about the holistic approach to supporting you and your business starting from the bottom up.

It’s time to come home to your truest self.

Find spaces where you can be supported in your healing journey. Affinity is just one of these spaces x

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